Vacuum Jokes

Nothing humbles you faster than watching your Dreame perfectly avoid the one cable you forgot about… and then wrapping itself in it anyway.

I trust my Dreame’s obstacle avoidance more than my own depth perception at 2am.

When Dreame releases firmware updates, I read the patch notes like it’s a new iPhone launch.

I bought a Dreame to save time… now I spend that time watching it clean.

I’ve renamed rooms in the app more times than I’ve redecorated them.

My Dreame has cleaned under furniture I haven’t seen since 2019.

I don’t panic about guests anymore, I just hit “Clean All” and pretend this is how we always live.

The real test of a relationship isn’t money… it’s agreeing on where the dock should go.

I’ve never been so emotionally invested in a progress bar before.

When it says “Cleaning completed,” I feel prouder than I probably should.