Vacuum Jokes

I don’t “clean the house” anymore. I “deploy the unit.”

I’ve watched my Dreame rescue itself from tighter corners than I could reverse out of.

I used to ignore crumbs. Now I see them as a personal challenge to suction power.

The only straight lines in my life are on the cleaning map.

I’ve never been so proud of something successfully docking.

I don’t panic when I hear a strange noise anymore, I just check the app to see what it’s conquered.

My Dreame has explored under the sofa more than I have.

I measure room size in square metres… it measures it in efficiency.

Guests see a tidy floor. I see optimal coverage.

I didn’t expect to form an emotional bond with a vacuum… but here we are.