Vacuum Jokes

I don’t vacuum anymore, I supervise advanced autonomous floor management.

The only thing more satisfying than a clean floor is watching it create perfect parallel lines.

I never thought I’d say this, but I trust a robot more than my kids with snacks.

I’ve become the kind of person who says, “Hang on, it’s mid-cycle.”

My Dreame doesn’t get stuck, it just evaluates alternative navigation strategies.

I’ve started spotting dust like it’s a performance test opportunity.

When it announces it’s returning to dock, I feel like applauding.

I don’t tidy up before running it anymore… I call it “real-world testing.”

The most dramatic moment in my house? “Main brush tangled.”

I’ve never refreshed an app so quickly as when it says “Cleaning paused.”